a Shadowy man from a shadowy planet

This is a very bad man. He lives in a dark tower on Mt. Pleasant (Doom) with his evil servants Cleo and Chinta. He put his wife under a terrible spell - now she plays football. He captured me for a week in the midst of my job search in Vancouver - now I play football. I will list various excerpts from conversations during this time to prove his nefariousness:

• 'I dont have cable'
• 'I dont cook'
• 'I dont use the dryer'
• 'you have to walk my dogs'
• 'you have to buy more mix'
• 'you cant call long distance'
• 'you have to walk to the movie'
• 'you cant touch my dog there'
• 'you smell'
• 'you have to watch strange Japanese cartoons'

I was fortunate enough to escape when he left one morning for work, but vow to return for the others! I wont let their memory die!